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I asked her if she sought out friendships with gay men.That was another "no." Being loud, brassy women (another thing we have in common), we find that these friendships just happen. "I also wear a lot of shiny things; it tends to attract them," she added, tongue firmly in cheek.

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Everyone loves attention, and they give that to one another. They both find a home and comfort with one another.

But what about adult women, women who know who they are and what they want, women who have successful careers and romantic relationships?

Being part of "not normal" and often maligned groups can give us an instant bond. Growing up, her family lived next door to a gay couple who frequently babysat for her.

When we stop trying to be part of the "average," that's when we find our strength and our voice. She had gay friends throughout high school, and even more when she relocated to California to pursue an acting career.

We noted that people often see plus-size women as asexual and their relationships with gay men as an extension of that. "Half the conversations I have with my gay friends are about hot boys," she said. "Large women and gay men are so misconstrued and see society in a skewed way.

To me it's about being strong enough to be who you are and put up with the consequences of who you are." I couldn't agree more.Fink described meeting her best friend as a shared experience of being "pulled toward one another." Both of us have always had great friendships with men, gay and straight."Gay men are not women," Fink scoffed, "even when I call them 'gurl.'" We agreed that as we've grown older, we've found that our friendships with straight men have grown complicated, not because of us but because of their wives or girlfriends.It's not a relationship that's necessarily replacing something else or overcompensating for something that's lacking. As Fink has said many times, we are all looking for people who are "our kind of crazy." And we are both lucky, because we have some awesome friendships with gay men who fit that bill perfectly.Asexual is the first professional asexual dating site for people who lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity.Why are they still so connected to their gay friends to the point that it could become a cliché?

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